Divorcing With Sanity

If you are a teacher going through a divorce, there is a very good chance you have already spent months asking yourself what you could have done differently. Whether you were attentive enough. Attractive enough. Whether you gave enough, said enough, stayed quiet enough, spoke up enough. You run through the marriage the way you would run through a lesson plan that went badly, looking for the part where you made the error. Perhaps what I'm about to say next can help answer these questions. The class that only misbehaves for you Before you continue reading, please be very clear that I am not offering excuses for anyone's behaviour. I am simply suggesting a different perspective that you may want to consider - because this perspective definitely helped me breathe a little better about what happened in my divorce. Every experienced teacher knows this scene. Your class is loud, unsettled, testing every boundary. Then a colleague steps in to cover for five minutes, and they sit up st...

  "I'll sort it out when things settle." That is not a plan. That is how you come home to a flooded house. I know it takes a lot to reach out for help. It seems straightforward to others - dial a number, send an email, get out of the room. That’s because everyone focuses on the actions and fails to recognise the emotional effort it takes. Doing all that feels like one more thing. It feels like admitting something out loud that you are not ready to say yet. It feels like spending energy you simply do not have. Asking for help is even more counterintuitive if you are a teacher. You are the one who holds things together - for your students, for your children, for everyone in the family. So, I understand. I was in that same emotional lethargy 15 years ago when I was going through my divorce. But 15 years on, I also look back and realise seeking help wasn’t about doing more - it was about showing up for myself. Your pipes just burst Your best dress gets drenched and your makeu...